


Forget Me (Not)

by xovercastx



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Breakup, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 00:42:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7596664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xovercastx/pseuds/xovercastx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's these cold Chicago nights when I miss him the most. Listening to my own pulse against the pillow. It beats in endless bursts when I think of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Me (Not)

It's these cold Chicago nights when I miss him the most. Listening to my own pulse against the pillow. It beats in endless bursts when I think of him.

I shouldn't be here, I should be with him. Grabbing on to his hair in my sleep, pulling him in, his sweetness making my heart swell and burst.

I'm in this king size bed alone, awaiting for him. I know he'll never come back, but it's fun to fantasize.

Right now he's probably fast asleep, dreaming about someone else. Not me. My fingers glaze over his contact name, begging for me to move them to the call button. I've thought about it a lot but then I realize it isn't fair to him. I shouldn't expect him to just take me back. 

He deserves better than me.

I blame everyone but me for this. I put the tension on someone else's shoulders, why? Why don't I just realize it was me all along?

If I close my eyes I can almost hear his light snores next to me. I can feel his hot breath warming my skin. Feel his blue eyes watching me, thinking I don't see. He was beauty, he was grace, he was everything I'm not.

I sometimes question if I'm still alive. Without him I feel like a hollow shell, my soul secreting out of my body. Going back to him. I reach out and try to touch my heart, just to see if it still beats.

It doesn't do it the same.

My eyes trace circles on the ceiling. I wish I could reach out and grab his hand. My only comfort. But alas, there's no hand. Only more empty space that no one else can fill.

I'm not a victim, but I play the part well.

If I could go back and do things differently I would. I would tell him I love him, tell him how much I care. But there's the problem. I'm a liar, I wish it was the truth but I can't make it happen. It was all a lie.

I wonder if he still even thinks about me. If I cross his mind now and then. Maybe he thinks of me as a sickness that he battled off. Which is the right way to think.

I almost hope that he hates my guts. It rips me apart to think it but at the same time it means he realizes.

That all along, it was me who was his worst nightmare. I was his trauma.

I was his nothingness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


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